Be a substitute teacher?

If you were a substitute teacher of high school seniors for a day, what one sentence would you first say to the class? 

Ron Owen Class dismissed.

John Roach I know where you'd go, Ron--to the beach!

Gregory Welsh Bueller, Bueller.... Anyone anyone anyone?????

Doug Basile Shut Up! Sit Down!

John Roach Doug: That tempts me to make my opening sentence be: "You guys are lucky you didn't get Mr. Basile."

Gray Stikeleather Handwerk Listen, I don't want to be here anymore than you do, but we have to, so let's just agree to get through this as painlessly as possible. It's like Homer Simpson once said, "Okay, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. But let's work together this one time and then I'll go back to slowly killing you with beer."

John Roach I'd want to see how well the cell-happy kids actually know each other. I'd go with: "We'll start with a quiz: Write down the first and last name of every person in this class--whoever has all the right names, can leave and enjoy a free period.

John Roach But I'm definitely partial to you and Homer, Gray Stikeleather Handwerk!

Chris Colter We're having class outside today on the beach.

John Roach Best. Teacher. Ever, Chris Colter

Christine Laudeman Soloway It only gets worse from here!

John Roach: re Christine Laudeman Soloway: Initially, my thought about subbing for seniors was that it would only get worse from here FOR ME. My first sentence might have been: "Here's my emergency contact information just in case something happens today."

Mike Campellone "My defense attorney thought this teaching thing would be good for my anger issues."

Tom McNamara <knocks over desk> “Are we going to have any problems?”

John Roach Ahhh, now the people who deal with students are chiming in. Things just got real!

Bridget Ann White I am happy to be here; don't try to change my mind.